Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Reprise and thanks.

Dearest readers; it seems I've gone round the bend. Well, gone round a bend.

I'm not the sort of bear who says "I'm COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOW! Now that I've had this great insight/experience !" I'm pretty sure we can't escape our past selves any more than we can hang onto them.

There was a series of events, which you could trace back a couple of weeks or a couple of years, as you like; stupid mistakes, nightmares, visions, arguments, a realization. And now I'm different. The simplest way I have to explain it is that a year and a half of very painful therapy has very suddenly started to catch up with me and pay itself off. I'm trying to give myself some time to adjust to this, which is difficult even though the changes are good. . . I'm also trying not to assume the change is permanent, but rather, allow it to be as it is.


Although I'll surely need to wallow in some doom from time to time, I'm ready to start all over again , and ready to let past go. Just to get ceremonial about it,

I knew it is a hardcore past and i've been struggling inside there for sometimes thought there's some incidents happened in between which make the pain gone temporary, but I've been telling myself it is gone it is gone for some couple of times too i guess. But I guess, this time is the time I will get serious with everything and let it go in a real way. 

Hopefully, sincerely , pretty please. 

I Guess. 

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