Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Reprise and thanks.

Dearest readers; it seems I've gone round the bend. Well, gone round a bend.

I'm not the sort of bear who says "I'm COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOW! Now that I've had this great insight/experience !" I'm pretty sure we can't escape our past selves any more than we can hang onto them.

There was a series of events, which you could trace back a couple of weeks or a couple of years, as you like; stupid mistakes, nightmares, visions, arguments, a realization. And now I'm different. The simplest way I have to explain it is that a year and a half of very painful therapy has very suddenly started to catch up with me and pay itself off. I'm trying to give myself some time to adjust to this, which is difficult even though the changes are good. . . I'm also trying not to assume the change is permanent, but rather, allow it to be as it is.


Although I'll surely need to wallow in some doom from time to time, I'm ready to start all over again , and ready to let past go. Just to get ceremonial about it,

I knew it is a hardcore past and i've been struggling inside there for sometimes thought there's some incidents happened in between which make the pain gone temporary, but I've been telling myself it is gone it is gone for some couple of times too i guess. But I guess, this time is the time I will get serious with everything and let it go in a real way. 

Hopefully, sincerely , pretty please. 

I Guess. 

Monday, December 3, 2012

I guess I am back .


I am back .
 # Goa trip with coursemate 2012 .

Stay tune. Let me think what to post next :D

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Another year

Time flies, don't you think so? Another year passed. 240312 is just another simple day for most of the people, it is just another saturday, another weekend to enjoy. But too me and to us, it's a special to us who closed with u few years ago. I do not have any memorable photos together with you but I do have a lot of memorable memories together with you although most of the time we spent and mixed in a misunderstanding situation but everything has gone. 

Sometimes, I just spend my time alone thinking, what will it be if u are still here with us, which college and uni will you enroll ? If you are still here, everything will be different, I guess. 

240312 is just another day, but I would like to wish you a very happy birthday. I never forget ur face, voice , handwriting and everything. None of us did. How are you doing there ? I miss you bro. 

Satu Pintar, year 2005. First year we met . 

Year 2007, PMR straight As. 

Year 2008, 4 Wawasan. Science Stream .

Happy birthday bro. I miss you. Do you miss us ?

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Simple and simple

I am just an ordinary guy who wish everything in my life is simple and nice. I never expect everything will go smoothly like others but at least I wish I can figure out a solution for everything obstacle I faced. Life is tough and will never always go according to what we wish, I understand this fact but sometimes I really do not understand why do those unlucky incident will always happen in my life. I did tried to do better. Outsiders might feel that I never even put a try to make everything alright, but deep in my heart I did try, even if there is a limit in my physical actions but then mentally, I really tried. Sorry if I cant be a better person but I am sorry I really did.

I never expect much, I just want thing to be simple and nice. I dont ask it to be the perfect one but at least some good one. I am not sick of anything but I will wonder once in a while, why why why and why. I really tried.

Certain things are not under my control. I understand. Sorry. I am sorry that I cant be the one u guys expect. But I really tried to work it out. But I do not know, why does the shadow keep hunting me to moving on. Not say that I never try but please, just make things alright for me because honestly, I am tired of trying.

People say, smile and be happy always. I wish to, certain time I really happy, but when it comes to the down part, I really sad to the max, But anyway, I am not leaving. I will try to make things right. I am tired but I am still trying. Please do understand. I am sorry. I sincerely apologise. Sorry


Almost 3am in India.
But I am just down, sad , and depress.
I miss the old , us.
I really miss it.